After devoting decades to career and family, most of us look forward to retiring with great enthusiasm. More freedom to do what we love. More quiet time to reflect on what to do in this next chapter of our lives.
Some make great plans for life post-retirement. Others prefer to take a more casual or spontaneous approach. No single way of mapping out the later years of life works best for everyone. Still, virtually any psychologist or health professional who works with seniors will tell you: Without a sense of purpose, older adults can end up feeling lost after retirement.
The exercises and shared wisdom in this digital workbook can help you with finding purpose in retirement, whether you’re years away from retiring or you’ve been retired a long while.
The first four sections below are based on the work of Diane Friedlaender, Ph.D., the former associate director of Stanford Living Education who developed a framework for purpose. You can read more about her work in this article published by Stanford Lifestyle Medicine.
Feel free to write your responses out on a sheet of paper or in your journal. These questions also make great conversation-starters, so simply talking through them with a friend or family member can be revealing.
Section 1: Identifying What Brings You Joy
Creating a purposeful life after retirement involves introspection. An easy way to begin is to think about what makes you happy.
Joseph Campbell’s advice to “follow your bliss” became a popular motto in the early ’80s, and it’s still valuable guidance to live by today — particularly for retirees.
To get started, complete these sentences:
- I always look forward to ____________________________________________ when I can.
- When I engage in _________________________________, I lose all track of time. I could spend countless hours at it.
- There was a time when I was very good at ___________________________. I wish I had kept at it.
- I’ve always dreamed of being a ______________________________, but I never made a serious effort because I knew I couldn’t make a living doing that (or my family didn’t approve).
- I used to enjoy _______________________________, but I stopped because I just didn’t have enough time to devote to it.
- I’m fascinated by people who can _____________________________________________.
- Nothing makes me smile more than when I _____________________________________.
- Don’t tell anyone, but I secretly wish I could ____________________________________.
- Whenever I ______________________________________, my heart feels like it’s going to overflow.
- I feel most content / energized when I am _______________________________________.
- Something I’ve always wanted to try doing is ____________________________________.
- What I most want to learn more about is ________________________________________.
- If I had a day where I could go anywhere and do whatever I wanted, and cost was not an issue, I would _____________________________________________________________.
- In any given week, the time I cherish most is when I’m ___________________________.
- My most rewarding accomplishment is ________________________________________.
Section 2: Identifying Your Core Values
A core value can be:
- A character trait, such as compassion, gratitude, honesty or integrity
- A goal, such as growth, knowledge or stability
- An aspect of your life that you would go to great lengths to preserve or protect, such as autonomy, family, spirituality or well-being
What are your most important personal values? Which ones do you think about when making difficult or critical decisions?
Choose five or six core values that you would place above all others. If you need more ideas, there’s a list in the Stanford Lifestyle Medicine article referred to earlier. You can also do an online search; this list by author James Clear is a good example of what you can find.
Your core values can change over time. Limiting the number of core values you select will help you focus on what matters most to you at this point in your life.
Section 3: Identifying Your Gifts and Strengths
Think about all you have to offer to others — your family, your friends, your community and the world at large. This can include specific talents, skills and abilities you have, as well as qualities that make you the person you are.
Completing the following sentences can help you reflect on what makes you unique in these ways. If you get stuck, ask someone who knows you well for help.
- Throughout my life, people have told me I’m good at ___________________________.
- I feel most confident and capable when I’m ___________________________________.
- People know they can come to me when they need someone to ________________________________________________.
- When I’ve had to overcome obstacles, I’ve drawn upon my ______________________________________ to help get me through.
- Ever since I was a child, I’ve been able to make the best of most situations by _______________________________________________.
- If I could be known for one thing, it would be _________________________________.
- When I think about what people will remember me for the most, it’s my _______________________________________________.
- I believe I’m better than average at __________________________________________.
- One quality I possess that I would like to pass down to younger members of my family is my ___________________________________.
- My favorite kind of challenge to tackle is ____________________________________.
Section 4: Identifying How You Would Like To Make a Difference
Once you’ve identified what makes you happy, what matters to you and what you bring to the table, it’s time to put all of that information to work. This is how you’ll find activities you can get involved in that can give you a true sense of purpose.
These activities might only have an impact on one other person, a local business or organization, or your immediate community. On the other hand, they might be part of a large-scale effort, such as a cause you care about deeply.
You could start by listing a few possibilities you plan to explore. You could also brainstorm ideas, giving your imagination permission to roam wherever it takes you. Invite a friend or family member to join you. Most of all, have fun!
These examples can help you generate ideas of your own:
- Forming a group of people who share one of your passions or interests
- Spending time with animals at a local shelter or rescue
- Tutoring a student or reading to children at your local library
- Organizing an effort to plant a community garden or restore a community landmark
- Sharing a skill or talent you have with others who want to learn
Section 5: Create a Checklist
To help you stay motivated and ensure you follow through on your intentions, make a checklist of activities you want to learn more about or try.
Take it at your own pace. Maybe try something new each week when you’re starting out, so you don’t feel overwhelmed. The point is to stick with it until you find activities that add meaning to your life.
An Alternative: Keep It Visual With a Vision Board
A vision board is a collage of images, quotations, affirmations and words. It represents a desired goal and serves as a visual reminder of what you hope to achieve.
You can create a digital vision board using images you find online. You can also buy a vision board kit or get creative and make your own from scratch. This article published on Sixty and Me offers step-by-step instructions.
Section 6: Affirmations To Help You Stay the Course
An affirmation is a simple statement intended to promote a positive mindset about whatever it is you’re striving to achieve. You can write your own or find a few through an online search that really speak to you.
Try jotting down your affirmations on sticky notes so you can move them from place to place. For a more durable option, you can print them on nice paper and frame them.
Here are several examples of retirement-related affirmations from Affluma:
- My next step does not have to be driven by believing usefulness ended with paid work.
- I can try a contribution that fits my current energy level.
- Purpose can change as life changes.
- I can carry useful experience into a different role.
- Exploration can happen in manageable steps.
Section 7: Quotations To Inspire You
Sometimes quotations may resonate more than (or in a different way from) affirmations. They, too, can inspire you and assist with motivation.
Try these on for size (found on Golden Voices and the Center for the Advancement of Well-Being at George Mason University):
- “Retirement is when your life’s work begins to bloom.” — Anonymous
- “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” — C.S. Lewis
- “Retirement is where passion meets possibility.” — Anonymous
- “This isn’t the end of relevance — it’s the rebirth of purpose.” — Anonymous
- “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” — Fred Rogers
- “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss.” — Betty Sullivan
- “Retirement isn’t an end — it’s an invitation to rediscover yourself in slow motion.” — Anonymous
- “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” — Robert Delamontagne
- “In retirement, time finally becomes yours. Spend it generously on joy.” — Anonymous
- “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” — Pablo Picasso
- “Begin each retired day with curiosity and close it with contentment.” — Anonymous
- “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” — Mitch Albom
Finding Yourself After Retirement: We Can Help With That
Being part of a community such as The Vered gives you (or your loved one) access to a variety of engaging activities and programs — with full support from our dedicated staff.
As a new community, we’re delighted to see residents collaborating to shape the culture of The Vered, sharing their interests and helping one another discover new and renewed purpose in their lives.
To learn more about unparalleled assisted living and memory care at The Vered, contact us to schedule a visit.
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