Long-Distance Grandparenting Tips

If you have grandchildren who live too far away for frequent visits, then you know staying connected can pose some challenges. Although long-distance grandparenting takes extra effort, the payoff can be invaluable for the whole family.

Basics for Maintaining Strong Long-Distance Relationships

While there are countless ways to express your love to your grandkids, grandparents who’ve “been there and done that” offer advice to support your efforts:

Communicate with your grandkids frequently and consistently.
With so many options for staying in touch, it’s easier than ever to make communicating with your grandchildren part of your routine — and theirs. For instance, you can video chat or send a text. Or you could go “old school” and send a note in the mail or call them on the phone.For calls and video chats, set a recurring time that’s good for you and for them, and then do your best to stick with it, whether it’s every few days, weekly or bimonthly. A change in plans may cause you to skip or reschedule on occasion, but try to keep to the schedule as much as you can.It may help to think of it as a ritual you celebrate with a specific element or integrated activity, like an exchange of photos showcasing something fun that happened since your last call or chat.
Show them you’re genuinely interested in what they’re doing.
Ask lots of questions about what’s going on in their lives. Find out what they’ve been up to lately, what they’re looking forward to, who their friends are. If it helps, jot down notes in a dedicated journal so you can ask follow-up questions the next time you talk.Keeping track of special events they’re participating in gives you the opportunity to send text or email messages encouraging them ahead of time and expressing your pride afterward.
Take advantage of the vast array of available technology.
If you’re not familiar with basic video chat apps such as Facetime, Zoom, WhatsApp or Google Meet, this is a great place to begin. You can find online tutorials (try YouTube), or you can ask nearly any teenager you know to show you how to use them. If you’re in a senior living community or near a senior center, see if there’s a volunteer who can assist you with whatever technical support you may need.If you want a video messaging app, which is similar to texting only with videos, check into Marco Polo. You can use it to record and send videos for recipients to watch anytime they want. And when you’re ready to go beyond video chats and messaging, consider trying some of the interactive apps mentioned in the next section.
Keep the momentum going in between in-person visits.
Whether you go to see them or they come to you, spending time in person with your grandchildren is most likely among your favorite things to do. As your visits draw near the end, build excitement with them about how you’re going to stay in touch while you’re apart.Make plans to bridge the miles between you with new activities you can try. Ask your grandkids if they would like to use other ways of communicating or change the timing or frequency of your calls or video chats. As they grow older and busier, texting may become their preferred mode of communication. Nonetheless, encourage them to continue calling and chatting even if they do so less frequently.
Treat each grandchild as the special person they are.
It might be easiest to have a group video chat with the entire family, especially if there’s only one or two grandchildren and they’re young. As the family grows and your grandkids get older, scheduling group chats is probably going to become more challenging.However, as your grandkids grow older, it gets easier to communicate and bond with them on their terms. Their personalities emerge and they develop their own interests. By staying in touch with them regularly, you’ll get to witness these changes in real time instead of playing catch-up the next time you’re together.

5 Ideas for Long-Distance Grandparents

Use these long-distance grandparenting ideas to kickstart a list of your own creative ways to be a positive, loving presence in your grandchildren’s lives.

Send cards and letters back and forth.
Although you may be tempted to send email messages and ecards because they’re so convenient, consider how much you enjoy receiving a handwritten note or a greeting card in the mail (and how rare that is these days). Chances are your grandkids would get a kick out of receiving cards and letters from you as well. It’s also easy to include photos, drawings and small gifts. Plus, your grandkids will have extra opportunities to practice their handwriting and written communication skills.
Watch videos, TV shows and movies together.
Gone are the days when lengthy “long-distance” phone calls were cost prohibitive. You can arrange to call before you begin watching a favorite TV show at the same time and then talk about it after the show is over. Or you can exchange text messages during the show and then have the call. Apps are available, like Teleparty and Watch2Gether, that make shared viewing time even easier.
Create something together.
Plan an arts and crafts project you can work on during a video chat. Teach your grandkids how to paint. Plant seeds at the same time on a video chat and then compare the plants’ growth on subsequent calls. Cook a meal or bake a special treat while video chatting and enjoy eating together. (Make this even more special by sharing a family recipe.) Start a story with a few words or sentences and take turns writing it. You can do the same thing with a drawing, sending it back and forth by mail.
Play games or do puzzles together.
Video games are not just for younger generations. In fact, depending on which source you consult, an estimated one-third to one-half of adults age 50 and older regularly play them. Find a few that you and your grandkids can enjoy playing together. Do you like playing board games such as chess, Battleship or Scrabble? Doing jigsaw puzzles? An online search will point you in the direction of all sorts of virtual games and puzzles you can enjoy with your grandchildren even when you’re apart. If you have several grandkids in multiple locations, include them all!
Read to younger grandchildren.
This is something you can start when your grandkids are babies and continue for as long as they will let you. Use a video chat app on a tablet and they’ll get to know your face and voice from an early age. Caribu, Readeo and Zoog are popular reading apps, and some include other activities like games and drawing. With your encouragement, your grandchildren can develop a lifelong love of reading.

Gifts for Grandchildren Who Live Far Away

Grandkids of all ages love receiving and opening gifts from their grandparents. These suggestions for long-distance grandparent gifts might be just the ticket to brighten your grandchild’s day.

10 Things To Mail to Your Grandchildren

Digital tablets for video chats and shared activities
Stationery and stamps so they can write to you
Care packages with homemade goodies
Long-distance touch lamps (also known as friendship lamps) like these at LuvLink
Custom storybooks with your grandchild’s name in them
Planting kits for those joint gardening sessions mentioned above
Snack packages with popcorn and treats for shared movie nights
Wi-Fi photo frames with digital photos you can switch out remotely
Personalized items, from pillows and night-lights to hats and backpacks
Family tree charts that can be updated as the family grows