The focus of our case study: What does it mean to leave a legacy?
When we speak of legacy within the context of senior living, typically we’re referring to the lasting impact residents have on the community. The memorable contributions they make in terms of their time and energy. How they will continue to touch the lives of others even after they’re no longer with us.
From this perspective, Sonya’s story is a prime example of a lasting legacy. Although she lived at The Vered for only a short time, she captivated others with her enthusiasm, and she had a talent for drawing people into a world she had known and loved her entire life — the world of opera.
Our featured resident: Sonya Popkin Markbreiter
Sonya moved to The Vered in March, excited about her transition from New York, where she’d lived nearly all of her life, into our brand-new community in Encino.
Sonya and her family learned just a few months later that she had a serious illness. While her time with us was brief, it was clear to everyone who knew her that she loved being part of our community, and we were thrilled to have her among us.
To more fully share Sonya’s story, we spoke with her daughter, Leesa Zelken, who gave us insight into why opera meant so much to her mother and what compelled Sonya to help others embrace it, too.
Sonya’s heritage
In a way, Sonya was destined to be an opera aficionado. Her mother performed for decades at The Metropolitan Opera (better known to many of us as The Met or The Met Opera) in New York City. Sonya grew up in the wings of the opera house and backstage, frequently watching her mother’s performances from a seat in the first couple of rows.
Sonya’s transition from New York
Starting in the late ’80s, Sonya and her husband often traveled to California to visit Leesa and their granddaughter. In recent years, the trips became more of a challenge for Sonya, who by this time had moved to an assisted living community in Manhattan.
About a year ago, Leesa arranged for Sonya to visit her in Los Angeles for a few weeks. While she was here, Sonya began thinking about making California her permanent home.
Leesa began looking for an assisted living community for her cosmopolitan mother. One that would “speak to her sensibilities, both aesthetically and on a cultural level.” A friend told Leesa about a brand-new community being built in Encino.
Initially, Leesa dismissed the idea of her mother moving to The Vered because Encino seemed too far from where she lived in Santa Monica. After thinking it over, though, she decided to come take a tour. The community wasn’t open yet, so no one was living here.
“From the second I walked into The Vered, I was instantly taken with it. I could envision my mom there right from the get-go,” Leesa said. “Everything just seemed so aligned, from the moment I walked into the lobby, to taking the tour with Caroline, to hearing about their dining program, to seeing the common spaces and then, of course, looking at the apartments.”
Leesa toured our community “a handful of times,” and Sonya came with her by way of FaceTime.
“When I walked into this one apartment that had a walk-in closet, I was sold. Honestly, my mom heard that, and she couldn’t get here fast enough,” she said with a laugh. “Living in Manhattan, you can only imagine how limited her closet space was.
“The community was done so lovingly and so personally. I felt that they were getting to know my mom as we were touring and that they were really intrigued with welcoming her as a resident. That she was just exactly who they would want as part of their community.”
Sonya’s main request
During the time Sonya was in assisted living in New York, she started an opera appreciation program.
“Opera was always a very important part of my mom’s life, and it was important to her to share that in whatever community she lived in,” Leesa said. “They were able to accommodate her in that way in Manhattan, and she had the same request when moving to L.A.
“Each time we toured The Vered, my mom would always bring up her opera program and ask to be sure they could implement it for her.
“They were so excited. Every single time I talked with Caroline, the marketing director; or Berta, the activities director; or Cassandra, the executive director; every single one said, ‘We cannot wait for you to start the opera program. When can you do this?’”
The impact of Sonya’s passion for opera on our community
Sonya decided that 2 p.m. on Sunday afternoons would be the ideal time for her presentations, called “Opera on Call With Sonya.” She and Leesa used the Met Opera on Demand app <> to choose which performance Sonya would feature each week, and we’d put it on our activities calendar.
Residents (and oftentimes their friends and family members) would gather in our movie theater, where Sonya would sit among the group and share why she had selected that particular opera, aria or overture.
“My mom always had a bit of personal history, something she thought would be interesting for people to know in general about each opera,” Leesa said. “She would point out something to listen for and tell them about who was singing and why it was an important performance for that particular artist.
“She didn’t overwhelm with too much talking, because she really wanted people to get to the opera. I think they not only enjoyed the opera itself, but also the extra bonus my mom was able to provide.
“I think that helped form a sense of community. People sometimes think opera is hoity-toity, but my mom had a way of disarming that notion. She was sophisticated but really grounded, and she just wanted something she was so passionate about to be appreciated by those who took the time to listen. It bonded her with people in a really great way, and them with her.
“Interestingly, you would think the residents at the assisted living community in New York would have taken to her program. But it wasn’t embraced there nearly as much as at The Vered, where they were really excited about it. They were so receptive to having this opportunity that my mom was sharing with them.”
We are thrilled that Sonya’s program is an established part of our ongoing activities. Sonya and Leesa passed the baton to a group of residents who regularly attended the presentations, and they are fervent about maintaining her legacy.
“It’s amazing how [the program] was like a magnet in a way,” Leesa said. “It really drew people in who, I think, otherwise would never have thought opera would be something they’d be interested in. My mom’s enthusiasm was contagious. She made you want to know more.
“Hopefully, she jump-started enough of an interest that the program will continue. Isn’t that what a legacy is about, sparking an interest in something that was beyond you in other people?”
The takeaway: What Sonya’s story teaches us about senior living
As a legacy example, Sonya’s story stands out for at least two reasons: how swiftly it unfolded, and how it took a certain kind of community, both literally and figuratively, for it to happen.
It also stands out because Sonya was 91 when she moved across the country to start a new chapter in her life.
“I think legacy is a certain openness, a willingness to share of yourself, give of yourself and connect with others — at any point in your life,” Leesa said. “In my mom’s case, she was very caring and was quickly devoted to the people she met at this time in her life and knew for such a short period of time.
“I’m so happy she made the move. She landed in a place where she didn’t have a day of regret, no second thoughts. She did what she wanted to do and landed in a place that made it all come together.
“As much as I love thinking my mom was unique or unusual, I don’t think she was an anomaly. I think she may simply have been a catalyst for recognizing how much there is to uncover in the lives of other residents, and how meaningful it can be to give people an opportunity to be known and remembered.
“It’s my hope that communities like The Vered might consider creating some kind of ongoing Legacy Project for residents. The idea would be to discover what has brought each resident joy over the course of their life. What are they passionate about? What fascinates them, delights them, or has given their life texture and meaning?
“Uncovering their passions provides residents with opportunities to share their interests with the rest of the community and perhaps even continue cultivating those interests. It gives them the chance to be known for who they are and what they have lived, not simply for where they are in life now.
“If my mom’s story can be an inspiration for helping others similarly soar, be seen, and ultimately be remembered, that would feel like a pretty wonderful legacy in itself,” Leesa concluded.
Would you like to learn more about The Vered and the possibility of creating a legacy like Sonya did? Contact us and we’ll schedule a personal visit for you.
Featured Image: Kitreel / Shutterstock